Do you want to know the real truth about why I choose to do boudoir photography? I had an impromptu boudoir session at the Visions Conference in Atlanta in 2018. During the session, after I got comfortable posing and not feeling silly doing it, I felt like I finally owned my body. I felt free! I was 47 years old and I finally felt ownership of my body. Yes, my body that people took from me at an early age. This body belongs to me! 

That may sound odd to you but here is my backstory: I am a survivor. I survived being molested by multiple family members for the majority of my childhood from the age of five until twelve. I told the adults in my life and nothing was done. They did not believe me.

I grew up feeling like my body did not belong to me if other people did what they wanted to do to me and I did not have a say in it. My "no" was ignored and I felt voiceless and abandoned. For years I was not kind to myself and nor were other people. I felt worthless. 

 I carried that childhood trauma with me for a long time. It impacted all of my relationships. I became a people pleaser, always saying "yes" even when I really wanted to say "no."  Always trying to be the peacemaker, and being a "good girl." That behavior just led to toxic and abusive relationships where I just went with the flow and did not express how I really felt about things. I did not have any boundaries and I allowed people to treat me poorly because that is how I treated myself.  My self-esteem was low, I felt beat down. I was easy prey for narcissistic men.

Childhood trauma is real. It took me seeing a therapist to recognize how deep and real it is. I have been suppressing things for years. Isolating myself from people because hell yea I have trust issues. Yes, I am guilty of putting a wall up so people can only get so close to me because betrayal hurts. And the ultimate hurt is not having the adults in your life believe you when you tell them somebody is touching you. I carried that resentment around for a long time, a very long time. When I was ready, I released all the anger and resentment that I was tightly holding on to. I also released the shame of being a child who has been sexually abused who no one believed to later become a victim of sexual assault in college and not telling anyone, because who was going to believe me? 

Why do I specialize in women boudoir photography? Because every woman needs to feel ownership of their body. Boudoir sessions should be done for yourself, not your spouse or partner! Sessions at Renee Buckles Photography are designed for women to experience the freedom of just being their authentic selves and letting go of the labels that society has placed on them. 

I photograph women's boudoir because Boudoir Photography is an intimate act of self-love that allows you to create beautiful portraits and every woman should feel ownership of HER body and know that she is indeed worthy.